Work It Girl! ... :P

So, there are a few things that have motivated me to get back to my pre-preggo weight and health... 
1. Breastfeeding has stopped shedding the pounds... I think the majority of what got me from my preggo weight of 175 to my postpartum weight of 145 so quickly was the sheer amount of blood I lost lol, plus a little extra calorie burnin' from BFing. I am now back where I started, around 170... :P
2. "No, I'm not pregnant"... yup, this woman was pretty convinced I was having another baby, whilst my 5 month old is chillin' next to me. I mean I know it's possible, but it's not exactly the next thing on my to do list. 
3. I just want to be lighter again. I want more energy, I want to be stronger and more vibrant, and I want to feel good. 

So, I'm gonna try my best to dedicate myself to doing Zumba every Wednesday, hot yoga every Friday, and maybe something on Sunday when daddy has a day off ;)

Ouch >_<"

WHY does it feel like I'm all the sudden starting all over again with breastfeeding!? Seriously, I thought it was gonna be smooth sailing from here on out, but man was I wrong. Every time Clay latches on now and for the first little while during feedings my tits feel as raw as they were postpartum! :( I think perhaps aunt flow is about to stop by for a nice cheerful visit ^^.. >:| If that's why I'm in so much pain, I sure as hell hope this doesn't happen every month!

If it's not my period, maybe it's thrush... I guess I could go to the Doctor's office... Then again it's not like the last 3 times I've gone have been of any use whatsoever. If it continues to get worse over the next couple days I'll go in for sure, I don't want anything getting in the way of our nursing relationship.


LATER THAT DAY...

>:( Now I don't think it's aunt flow or thrush! I just finished feeding Clay and now there's a small blood blister on my nipple!! What the heck is going on here? I've tried making sure his latch is spot on, it is! :( *sigh*... I'll keep you posted on what's going on :P... and if anyone has any suggestions, help please ._.

Air Travel... o.o Nervous!

So next week I'm going to visit my whole family in Ontario. I'm super stoked! Everyone gets to meet Clay, we're going to the zoo, and I get to see my three year old cousin and his new brother, my 5 month old cousin (same age as Clay). I'm counting down the days, but I'm a bit nervous about the whole ordeal of going through the airport... checking in, and going through security, mostly. I'm worried that even though I've called the airline and asked them exactly what I'll need ID wise for both of us, I won't be able to get through because I'm missing something. :P I know it's silly, but I'll call again before I go, and get the name of the person I spoke with and the time, just in case lol.

I'm nervous about security, because I don't want to be that person that they choose to pat down and search :P I'm not taking a stroller, Clay will be in the ring sling... I'm not sure if I'll have to take him out... Once I get past all that and I get to my gate, I'll be much happier I think :)

I've been going kinda crazy with my packing list. I just want to make sure I have everything... I've never traveled this far and for this long with a baby! It's better that I have it all written down too because then when I go to pack I don't have to think much lol, I've already gone over and over what's going to be packed where.

I sure hope Clay doesn't have a cold when we fly... I've been sick a few times while flying and it SUCKS. It's horrible! I've had such intense sinus pain because of the cabin pressure, it felt like my eyes and forehead were slowly exploding, while simultaneously being stabbed by tiny needles and at the same time my brain was imploding in on itself. Yes it was that bad! Which is why I REALLY REALLY hope Clay is healthy. I know breastfeeding is supposed to help, thankfully.

I just thought about how I may be seated next to some disapproving old lady who gives me nasty looks for whipping my boob out in public without a cover ;) mwahahaha! Let her stare till she learns something! xD

I'm not to worried about the fact that Clay will most likely cry a some point on the plane ride. Go ahead and glare at me, I'm not gonna hold your feelings over my baby's any day. Honestly I think just pretending no one else is on the plane is the best idea, so that I can focus solely on my baby's needs.

Anyway, wish me luck! I'll tell you how it goes!

Baby Sign Language

So for a while now I've been signing potty to Clay as his only real consistent sign, but I've been trying to remember mommy milk every time he nurses, and we do the sign for massage when he gets one, kitty when he notices one, and mommy and daddy when we remember. It's been pretty half-hearted which is totally fine since he won't be able to sign back for another few months (although I figure that doing the sign for a word every time I say it will  help it become second nature to me). My enthusiasm was given a kick start today... I'm not sure what by, but I'm diving head first into the world of baby signing and today I learned a whopping 28 new signs! I chose the ones I thought would be most relevant to our life at the moment... Here are all the signs we're working on now.

Potty (closed fist, thumb bewteen pointer and middle finger, twist like your turning a door knob)
Diaper Change (closed fists, palms together, rub in circles)
Kitty (hand in pincer, start at cheek and pull away from face a couple times, like pulling whiskers)
Massage (opens hands, palms together, rub like your rubbing in oil)
Mommy Milk (slightly open fist, squeeze, squeeze, like milking a cow)
Mommy (open hand and fingers, thumb taps chin then hand moves away from face)
Daddy (open hand and fingers, thumb taps forehead then hand moves away from face)
Up (open hands pat shoulder/chest area)
Down (point down)
Kisses (open hand, tap cheek lightly with finger tips, tap tap)
Good Morning (open hand palm facing the ground, start below eye fingers pointing to nose and wind shield wipe across eye to the outside of face)
Carry (in a carrier) (cross arms into an X in front of chest, closed fists, tap tap)
Bath Time (both hands closed fists, move up and down over torso at the same time)
Toys (closed fist, up and down as if pounding the air, or shaking a rattle)
All Done (open hand and fingers, twist back and forth at the wrist)
Not for Clay (thumb meets pointer finger and middle finger, like pinching)
Tickle (both hands squeezing the air)
Sit (pat where baby is sitting with one hand, pat pat)
Sorry (closed fist, make reversed circles around your chest)
Get Dressed (open hand palm down, descends from above head to below chin like a wind shield wiper)
Get Undressed (open hand palm down, ascends from below chin to above head)
Bus (pointer finger makes little circles like wheels turning)
Sleepy Time (open hand in front of face, fingers close into pincer and eyes close at the same time) 
Bottle (closed fist, bring fist to mouth, tap tap)
Hello (wave hello)
Bye-Bye (wave bye bye)
Inside (one hand closed fist, other hand in pincer motions as if putting something inside closed fist, tap tap)
Outside (pincer to forehead  bring away from forehead and open hand to the sky)  
Stroller (closed fists facing forward, push forward and back like pushing a stroller)
Funny (pointer finger and middle finger of one hand, start at bridge of nose and stroke off the nose a couple times)
Gentle (gently pet top of your head)
Car (closed fists, like your turning a steering wheel back and forth)
Icey (frozen breast milk)(open hand facing outwards, finger tips point to mouth, stroke cheek from mouth to ear with the back of the hand a couple times (like rubbing cheek because of teething pains))
Upset (open hand facing face descends from forehead to chin, thumb on one side fingers on the other, pout)

I've modified a few of them, especially if they originally required 2 hands lol. This is the site I've based most of the off of...babysignlanguage.com


So it's been about a week now, and I'm getting the hang of using a lot of these signs. It's really neat too because Clay seems to calm down, and pay attention more when I use the sign in conjunction with what I'm saying. For example, when he's upset I ask him, "Why are you upset?" and sign upset, and he seems to calm down like he realizes that I recognize he's frustrated. 

Some signs are harder to get him to pay attention to, such as "mommy milk". Because once he knows he's getting it, all of his attention is on it, not my face or my hands :P oh well, I make the sign anyway. In this case I usually try to make the sign before it's given to him, before I lift my shirt and he gets all excited and single minded lol.

I'm so excited for when he actually starts to sign back!! It'll be so cool to communicate like that, before he can verbalize words. I think it's an extremely valuable tool when it comes to a baby/toddler trying to convey their needs in a way that avoids many tears and tantrums. We'll see how it goes!

Everything I Have to Say About Breastfeeding ;)

I realized I haven't exactly made a post about my experience with breastfeeding, and it's such an integral part of my mommy-hood that at first I didn't understand why... I thought about it and I realize now that I didn't know how to really explain all the quirks and qualities of BFing... I don't think it's something that can be understood in words, unless you know breastfeeding like I do, and like other BFing mom's do. It's just like labour and birth, and parenting in general. You may think you know what it's all about, but until you're actually there, experiencing it all... well at that point the majority of our preconceived notions go flying right out the window, awkwardly stuttering and stumbling out of our perfect dream of the perfect motherhood. Am I right?

Just like all writing you may have read on labour, birth, parenting and other articles on breastfeeding, this one may be equally as helpful perhaps in a textbook learning kind of way, but it will not prepare you for all of it's life-affirming beauty, and all it's milky, blistery, haggardness. And if words could explain, I certainly wouldn't want to deprive you of the intense mothering experience the act of learning to breastfeed will offer you :) Regardless, here is my best attempt to shed some light on our own little BFing world. Enjoy! 

The Beginning...


When Clay was first born, I planned on having him do the "breast crawl", where I would leave him on my abdomen for as long as it took for him to find the breast on his own and latch on. Apparently it helps them learn faster how to latch more efficiently than the new mama trying to teach them how. After all, the baby was just born with that reflex, and as a first time mother immediately post-labour, we pretty much just fumble about without a clue (and more often than not, baby knows best). Unfortunately, since I kept bleeding after Clay was born, the nurse helped by massaging my abdomen to try and speed up the delivery of the placenta, and Clay HATED it. When they stopped pressing, he calmed right down, but as soon as they started up again he screamed. Also, since I lost so much blood (and I was up for like 2 days doing the hardest work of my life, surviving off a sporadic diet of raisins and toast), I was feeling pretty woozy. I handed him to my bare-chested partner after a while of mama to baby skin to skin so I could recover a little bit. 

I don't even remember how long it was until I tried to nurse him :P And I don't seem to recall the first time I did either... I do remember that at first and for a long while afterwards, he just wouldn't open his mouth enough! His tiny mouth seemed to be no match for my exceedingly busty bosoms... not to mention he would fall asleep after just a few seconds. I remember being so excited when I heard his tiny self actually swallowing my colostrum... "k......k...." 


In a way I'm kinda glad that I ended up staying at the hospital for a couple nights. I was able to get some breastfeeding support and advice on different positions, and when I totally bawled my eyes out and lost it the first night, my neighbor kindly assured me that it was just my milk coming in lol. I have dreamy memories of me in the hospital bed, Eric on a cot, in our shared hospital room. We took turns sleeping with the new baby Clay, and he slept a lot thankfully. When he cried we tried to figure out what was wrong, when instead I probably could have just nursed him again, and again... and again. To be honest I hadn't given a whole lot of thought to breastfeeding before having him. I knew I would, but I didn't think there was much I could do to prepare (aside from reading some repetitive manuals, and learning to hand express colostrum). I knew in my head how much a newborn needed to feed, but I was very confused and so tired that I didn't readily whip out a boob to feed him when he cried. Eric helped soothe him a lot in those early days.

My nipples hurt from his teeny attempts, and after a few days I developed horrid blisters... At one point one nipple started bleeding (and the thought crossed my mind that Clay was a tiny vampire). They were both black, blistery sucking things, and Clay and I were struggling. At one point Eric began to worry... "I don't think he's getting enough... maybe... do you think he might need formula?" I snapped, "No, I am Not using formula, thank you." He hovered and worried like a mother hen for the first little while, constantly offering his opinion on positioning and proper latch techniques. Frankly, it annoyed me most times that he presumed to know more than the woman with the tits (although I know in hindsight that his suggestions were of the purest intent). I'm just stubborn and "independent" (yeah, that's what I'll call it :P), and maybe this kind of help from the man in the picture is more appreciated by other women (maybe :P).

At first we tried splitting the night shifts, and it didn't last long. I couldn't sleep if he was crying while Eric was trying to soothe him, Eric could (and most certainly would (lol)) sleep if he was crying and I soothed him. Most of the time he wouldn't stop crying unless I fed him (he was a newborn, it was silly of me to think that he wouldn't want to feed all hours of the night). I came to dread the words, "... I think he's hungry." to which I would frustratingly retort, "I JUST FED HIM!!" Once I learned (and once Clay's latch got good enough) to BF lying down, and I stopped trying to wake Eric up (are all men this impossible to wake up???), life got much easier (around 1 month).

Sometimes when my nipples hurt to much or when I just wanted to be sure that Clay was getting enough, I would express some milk and feed him with a little cup (I admit, it was largely to get him to sleep for longer stretches by making sure he was full! :P).

Now (4 months old)

Everything evened out over the next two or three months. Things were perfect for a while, and then there were times when it felt like we were starting all over again like he forgot how to latch properly, so we would try new positions and things went back to normal again. Now it seems like we're seasoned pros at the whole thing, although each new stage of development comes with it's own challenges. For example, Clay is more easily distracted now, so in the middle of feedings if something catches his interest, he will forget to let go of my boob and yank his head this way or that. Most times he'll just pop off and it doesn't hurt (much anyway :P), but recently he's become more determined to take the boob with him, and he chomps down to get a real good grip on it. I won't have much of that!
So since the beginning, he's gotten a lot more efficient at feeding, his latch is pro, he can nurse lying down, sitting up, in the mei tai carrier, in the ring sling and even a couple times on the potty during a challenging bowel movement :P Once you get the hang of it, it starts to feel as natural as it is, just hang in there, and get help if you need it! 





A Matter of Sleep...

I have to say one of the best things about breastfeeding is it's ability to put a baby to sleep. More so as a newborn, but even at 4 months, if he's tired at all it'll send him off into a sweet milky slumber. It's great at night time, because when he wakes up in most cases, all he needs is a little snack and he's back to sleep. Since we learned to nurse lying down together this has become a very simple nightly routine (I don't have to pick him up or move him since we bed share (unless he needs to go potty), just stick a booby in his mouth and he's happy!). 





I understand some people are of the impression that a baby shouldn't be put to sleep on the boob because they will come to rely on it for sleep, but in my opinion, I think the properties of breast milk are present for a reason... for example, the hormone oxytocin (which is also released just after orgasm in fact, it's that sleepy cuddly feeling ;)), the high fat content, prolactin, melatonin (the sleep hormone), cholecystokinin (now that's a mouth full!) all help to relax mama and baby. Something else to consider is that breast milk actually has day-specific "ingredients" that stimulate activity in the babe, and night-time components that help the baby to rest (Dr Cristina Sanchez)! Now that's enough evidence for me and many tired moms to forget trying to rock a screaming baby back to sleep in the wee hours of the night (although I will admit it is necessary at times, especially when babe's gassy). When in doubt (and when not :P) Just breastfeed! Nature made it that simple. 



A Matter of Feeling Important Enough

In the same way, it also helps to calm a baby down and ground them when they are upset throughout the day. Crying for any length of time releases stress hormones, which are detrimental to brain development. If baby is upset and was just fed, sure check his diaper, see if he needs a pee, but I believe it's crucial that we not let our babies cry for extended periods of time while we try to figure out what's wrong, or simply because we are too busy to feed them. Breastfeeding, is about more than just physical nourishment. When you respond to your baby's cries promptly and offer him the best thing in world, a warm sweet smelling breast to soothe him, you are communicating to him that he will always be provided with affection and nourishment when he needs it, without being chastised for asking.



A Matter of Convenience

Breastfeeding is so convenient. It requires no preparation, meaning no sterilizing, mixing, warming or planning ahead of time. Your breasts will come with you wherever you go, you can't forget them at home, you can't go wrong, and you don't have to worry about those money grabbing companies selling you faulty formula. Mother's milk is quick and easy, affordable, safe, and by far the healthiest food mankind has ever known.

A Matter of Nature


I could go on for... a long time about the unending list of health benefits nursing your newborn, baby, toddler, and even your child provides, but these things can be found in every other article on breastfeeding you'll encounter (minus the benefits of nursing your 6 year old ;)), so I will say only this; Breasts were made for breastfeeding. They were not made (specifically anyway...) to be neatly tucked into a padded lacy bra so that men would be overcome by their intoxicating power ;). They are beautiful, they are sexy and
they are womanly, but it seems that society has become somewhat greedy and forceful in their opinions on what function women's breasts should serve. Perhaps because a large amount of men (and women) were deprived of their mother's beautiful bosoms as an infant, they would become possessive of the boobies they've come to view in an overly sexual way, and even repulsed by the thought of them being used as a infant's source of nourishment. Meh, maybe it's a long shot, but I do know that since breasts are portrayed in such a sexual way, they are then labelled as "private parts" (tee hee... ;D), thus, they are to be shut away, never to be revealed in public (let alone sucked on and fondled by a toddler in public)!!

If a woman is to breastfeed, she should take care not to reveal herself to the public eye, especially to those of children who are to young to be exposed to such sexual things... I think people have become very confused. 

As a society, we need to get our priorities straight. Babies, NEED, milk. There is no substitute. Formula is not a healthy alternative, and in over 90% of cases, is not necessary (under 10% of women are actually totally unable to breastfeed their babies)! Many women don't understand breastfeeding. We are not educated about it, therefore, we assume it's not the normal thing to do.




A Matter of Changing the World

As breastfeeding women, hiding our BFing away from the public eye is not necessary, and for those who are on the fence about BFing, it's not helpful to never see it practiced in person. For some, breastfeeding is a very private thing, and if you choose to cover up and/or seek solitude when breastfeeding that is by all means your option, and take pride in your choice as a mother (I will say this to even the formula feeding mothers, as it is also your option. I simply aim to spread information and dispel misinformation about breastfeeding so that women are aware of their options). It is not seen as normal because it is not seen at all!! I implore you, if you are comfortable in exposing your breastfeeding to others, and aren't doing so just to spare the feelings of everyone else, reconsider your motives. Seek the humor in all the painfully obvious averted eyes, and all the misplaced attempts to demean or discourage you. Remember that you are exposing the next parenting generation to the normalcy of this practice. :)



My Plan...

I plan to breastfeed Clay until he weans himself. Yep, you read that correctly. After doing extensive research into the subject, I am now convinced that the age of 6 is the best (approximate) time to consider weaning (when the child will naturally begin to lose the ability to properly latch on anyway). Wondering why on earth I'd want to nurse a school age child!? Of course you are!! :D Read on... ;)


"According to the research of smith (1991), many primates wean their offspring when they are erupting their first permanent molars. First permanent molar eruption occurs around 5.5 to 6.0 years in modern humans. It is interesting to note that achievment of adult immune competence in humans also occurs at approximately six years of age, suggesting that throughout our recent evolutionary past, the active immunities provided by breast milk were normally available to the child until about this age (Fredrickson)." Read More...

For now, I will enjoy every moment of this immensely satisfying and intimate bond with my son. Through the good times and the bad, me and my boobies will be there for him. I hope this article has offered some new insight into the womanly world of breastfeeding :) 

I HAD to Share This... xD

Being a Mom/Being Active

Long time no post, I know. You know how motherhood is :P (actually that's a tad bit of an excuse, but I'll pretend nonetheless). I thought I would post something about keeping fit with a baby, although I'm quite new at the whole thing :P

I have tried to at least do some light stretching as often as I remember, because when you carry around a baby and perform all those repetitive tasks, your body can get upset at you. For example, when Clay was just a few weeks old I noticed that my right wrist started aching. Then it starting killing me. I realized that it was because I was putting all the pressure of his weight on my joints instead of compensating for the extra weight with the muscles in my arms (especially when I picked him up from lying down, or breastfed him). Not so long afterwards, I noticed my upper back on the right hand side started twinging at times... Still haven't quite figured this one out, but doing some twisting stretches helps. I think my back might be hurting because I need to squat more and use my arms more, instead of putting all the pressure on my back to do everything. Also, the necessity of having good posture is becoming more and more prevalent. I notice I slouch a lot, especially while breastfeeding. I've lost some of the muscle tone in my back and abs after pregnancy and delivery (gasp!), and I've found it to be quite the challenge gaining it back while having to care for baby 24/7. I want to be there for Clay as much as I possibly can be, so while going out for the occasional yoga class isn't the end of the world, I want to find things we can do together that will keep me fit and feeling good (while keeping him entertained and content without the need for a babysitter, or a tv screen :P)!

Yoga with Baby

Yeah, this is something I've tried... and it works when he's in a good mood. I can incorporate him into some of the stretches like bound angle pose (where he sits in my lap in the same position, and we both lean forward (WARNING: do not try this pose after feeding unless you wanna see your milk again for some strange reason...) or some seated side bends (he sits in the triangle my legs create), standing wide leg forward bend (I hold him up by his hands in front of me so he can stand while I stretch), he can lay across my legs like superman if I hug them into my chest lying down, PLUS I can use him as a weight for lunges! There are a lot of ways to incorporate your baby into your yoga practice, although many poses require you to put baby down. Perhaps sometimes they won't mind, but if they do you'll hear about it! Now, I've only done this with a totally immobile baby, but there are dvds and books out there that can give you ideas for all ages. Personally, I watched one baby mama yoga dvd and hated it because the woman just did yoga while the baby just sat on the floor, or crawled around. Yep, it takes a real genius to come up with that. So I just came up with ways on my own that Clay could join in. It all depends on the baby and the mood he/she happens to be in. One more thing, there are baby mama yoga classes too (and I've heard of baby mama pilates I believe..?), I've just never gone to one. 

Walking

Yeah, I didn't really like the idea of walking for no reason either... although I do try my best to live by the philosophy of "life is a journey, not a destination". If the mood strikes, do it right away (or as soon as you possibly can, being a mom and all). To make it more interesting, I may power walk, or even more exciting (sheesh :P), power walk to a destination (*sigh*)... be it the grocery store, the mall, a coffee shop, whatever. When you walk, power walk (walk fast!) if you can. If not, just normal walking or strolling is still fantastic, and really good for you. I walk with Clay in a baby carrier (the mei tai is great for walking!) which contributes another 15 pounds to my ventures, but walking with a stroller works too (unless your walk happens to be a hike! :D). Getting out of the house and breathing some fresh air feels great!

Jogging

So I just got a jogging stroller today off kijiji.ca for $60.00! I went out for my first jog in over a year! It felt SO good to get my heart pumping and my lungs working! Clay didn't mind the stroller (this is the first time he's been in a stroller, and jogging is all I plan on using it for, despite the convenience of cup holders and storage compartments!), but I need to bundle him up more next time. I didn't think about the fact that he wouldn't be right next to my body to keep him warm.
Obviously there's no (comfortable, and maybe safe) way of jogging with an infant without a stroller, so there is that start up cost, but you can usually find one for a decent price on kijiji or in a baby consignment/secondhand store. Get a good pair of shoes and work it! I am SO looking forward to jogging with a mama friend of mine and her beautiful baby girl!

Family Centers

Some family centers that offer a "new parents group" or "parent and tot" meetings have things like zumba or aerobics. I know the family center I go to had zumba every Monday last month. You could bring your baby and they could chill out (or not) with other babies who also came to watch. Yes, if your baby starts freaking out you'll have to salsa your way out of that sweaty bliss (and what mom isn't used to dropping everything in the throes of their wailing wee one?), but who knows, they might even allow you a couple minutes, while they check out their new buds and watch in drooly amusement (and milky fantasies?) as you flail about, attempting to shimmy.


Anyways, that's all I can think of. It just comes down to the fact that our bodies need to move! and both mama and baby will benefit immensely from a healthy, active lifestyle.
Cheers!